Today is my 50th birthday! H•A•P•P•Y B•I•R•T•H•D•A•Y to me!
Michael wanted to take me out for dinner with the boys tonight, but I asked him to make his delectable baby back ribs for me instead. With corn on the cob slathered with butter. And salad. And of course, garlic bread. When he’s done with those ribs, the meat just falls off; it’s so tender and wonderful. Yes, I am a happy carnivore.
The big FIVE-OH sounds so momentous. Everyone who loves me tells me I don’t look fifty, whatever that means. I’ll take it as a complement. Although I did have a crisis of vanity the other day and bought a slew of make-up–something I NEVER do. I guess that if that’s the extent of my mid-life crisis I’ll have to consider myself fortunate.
My dad turns the big EIGHT-OH this month, and I swear that he doesn’t look eighty. So maybe I inheritated his youthful genes. I definitely inherited his “keep busy” attitude. I think that helps me to feel young, as does spending my days surrounded by twelve year olds who keep me humble and constantly amused. But I swear– if I have to keep teaching until I’m sixty-five, I know I’m going to end up like my least favorite teacher ever–my crotchety fifth grade teacher Mrs. Shelasky. My lasting memory of her — thick support hose in sensible shoes and her not calling on me although I had my hand raised with my elbow propped up on my other hand on my desk waiting for what seemed like forever.
I feel pretty good, except when I’m sick like I was last week. All better now– thank goodness. I’d like to start taking vitamins. We have a drug dealer at our school. You know the kind. He moonlights as a vitamin and supplements peddler. You sign up and pretty soon they’re sending you vitamins every month whether you finished the last bottle or not. And soon you’re drowning in bottles of the stuff. And they just keep coming and the credit card keeps getting charged. I told him that I wasn’t very good at the whole taking pills routine. “Why don’t you get one of those little pill cases?” he said. “Why don’t you take them before you go to bed or right after dinner?” I guess I could. I know I should. But I probably won’t, so I discontinued delivery.
A few months ago I started getting notices from AARP. Oh my gawd! AARP!! WTF! Does that mean I get a senior discount at Denny’s now? With my luck they’ll raise the age because all us boomers are going to drive them into bankruptcy getting our senior discounts.
If I make it past my dad’s age, I’ll consider myself lucky. Mom died before 80. One grandfather and two grandmothers died before 80. Two of my aunts died before 80. On the other hand, my dad’s still going strong, as is his sister. She’s 85 and still works out with weights and does yoga!! Of course, the way I look at it, I could get hit by a semi on the interstate tomorrow. So I try not to think about these things too much, although the fiftieth anniversary of my arrival here seems like an appropriate time to contemplate my mortality.